SEPTEMBER 2020

Moms We Admire with Jovanna

A photographer and counselor on the first chaotic weeks with two, therapy dates, and carrying grief through a pregnancy.

For this installment of Moms We Admire, we sat down with Jovanna — mama of two sweet boys, photographer, counselor, and a genuinely excellent cook. She talked to us about the week her second son arrived, the therapy dates that protected her marriage, and the hard news she carried through her second trimester. She also shared a few recipes, which we'd recommend scrolling for.

Tell us a little about yourself:

Hello mamas, I am Jovanna, married to Aaron for five years and a momma of two precious boys, Jude and Micaiah. I was born and raised in San Diego and I am a stay-at-home momma — passionate about photography, counseling, and simple living.

You just had your second baby. How has the adjustment been?

I have loved every bit of it. I remember the anxiety and fears I had, before my husband returned to work, wondering how I would manage two children at once. Sure enough, it was chaotic at first. One would nap and then the other would wake up while I'm potty training, cleaning up blowouts, trying to get to the dishes, but dinner needed to be made. All the things.

But then I remembered: I am the exact mother I was meant to be for these two boys, regardless of how we get through the day. I had to learn how to weave a new rhythm with my newborn into my son's established rhythm. Day after day, it took many doses of grace. I truly do enjoy the madness and mess that comes with every uniquely designed child. I am also amazed that my heart could expand enough to adore both these boys so much.

Any advice on important conversations to have with your partner before having a baby?

T H E R A P Y.

We knew that adding another child and reaching five years of marriage could lead to more tension with less time to work through recurring conflicts, so we treated ourselves to “therapy dates.” We called a therapist — a dear friend and colleague of mine — and asked him to help us guard our marriage from life strains and unlearn the habits we'd picked up.

I will tell you: if you have the opportunity to relearn your spouse and study them like you did when you dated, with fresh eyes and a few kids in, it is a game changer. If you don't have the funds or time for therapy, we also read A Lasting Promise by Scott Stanley once a week together and made a date out of it. The reader gets a foot massage.

What helps you when you feel overwhelmed by motherhood?

I literally draw out and describe the mom I am trying to be, and then list out the mom values I want to display. Often the burdens of motherhood are rooted in what we hope to be like, and not in what's realistic or sustainable in our season.

Do what you can based on your season — not the Instagram moms of older children doing all the DIYs and life projects, or whoever we compare ourselves to. In my case, when I feel overwhelmed, I draw out a SuperMommy: the gentle, patient, simple-living mommy that my children and husband love.

Do you have a favorite routine with your boys?

Yes! I take my son out on “Yes-walks,” meaning he calls most of the shots and I say yes to it all. Mostly.

We go to an open trail and he touches, runs, and leads the way as he desires. These are my favorite because so often I'm the one telling him where to go or what to do — here, he gets to be the expert of our trail experience. It's a fun way to observe what he enjoys and watch his confidence grow.

What helped you through the hardest parts of your pregnancy?

From the second trimester on, I had a variety of circumstances that hit me hard, including my own daddy getting diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. This news led to many depressive spells in my pregnancy. Though it was tempting to suppress my emotions and act like all was well, I knew the best thing was to set up a support plan — that might be the counselor in me speaking.

I told my friends and my community group at church how I had been battling my emotions, and ultimately my anger towards God. We set up a plan for how I would ask for help once the baby arrived. I began to run more and nourish my body more intentionally. Once my son came, my family and friends gave me space to bond with him and also time to reflect and pray, to work through the big anxieties. As much as I did the self-care, I'm sure it was prayer and honesty — to the Lord and to my community — that exposed them.

What's something your babies have taught you?

To not take myself so seriously and to enjoy the simple joys. Laughter is soooooo good. Feel the dirt in between your toes. Stare at the sky and look at the clouds. Dance like no one is watching you.

Can you share a few of your favorite recipes?

Oh goodness, this is the hardest question. Here are my go-to's for a whole day.

Sweet Potato Smoothie Bowl

• 1/2 large sweet potato, or two small, roasted or slow-cooked
• 1 frozen banana
• 1/2 can full-fat coconut milk
• 1/4 cup rolled oats
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 2 tbsp peanut or almond butter
• 4 frozen strawberries

Throw it all in a blender and blend away. Pour into a bowl and sprinkle over hemp seeds, nuts, berries, or whatever you please.

Clean Curried Salmon

• 2 cans salmon
• 1 cup grapes, halved
• 1 cup chopped spinach
• 1 chopped bell pepper
• 1/3 cup chopped green onion
• 1/4 cup Greek yogurt
• 2 tbsp curry powder
• Salt and pepper to taste

Mix everything together and enjoy with a pasta of choice, a cracker, a slice of toast, or on its own.

And my go-to dinners: Super Green Quinoa Bowls, Enchilada Stuffed Sweet Potatoes, and Whole30 Zuppa Toscana.

Moms We Admire is an ongoing EMME series celebrating the mothers in our community.