DECEMBER 2021

Moms We Admire with Lydia Amorim Jenkins

A São Paulo–born mama of two on the conversations to have before a baby, and why your partner still comes first.

For this installment of Moms We Admire, we sat down with Lydia Amorim Jenkins — stay-at-home mom, full-time foodie, travel addict, and gym rat — who was expecting her second boy when we spoke. She has the clearest answer we've heard yet to the question of what to talk about before you have a baby.

Tell us a little about yourself:

I'm Lydia Amorim Jenkins, 26 years old and currently expecting our second baby boy. I was born and raised, for the most part, in São Paulo, Brasil. My family is still there, with the exception of my oldest sister and best friend, who lives in Arkansas.

My husband and I met in college and quickly got married seven months later — when you know, you know, right? I postponed my plans for law school so we could start having children, which I do not regret at all. We're living in Dallas because of Matt's career, and are excited to move out to Boston next summer for his new job.

Any advice on important conversations to have with your partner before having a baby?

I think this is such an important question. I've seen so many couples struggling in their relationship because at some point, they didn't set up the stage properly for parenting. I am no expert, but I do know that introducing a child into your relationship is beautiful YET extremely challenging. Before having a baby, both parties need to be equally on board.

Have the conversations. When do we want to have a baby? How will we share responsibilities? How do we want to raise this child? Are we ok with daycare? How many children do we want? What about parental leave? Would we both be happy with a positive pregnancy test right now? What if infertility comes up — are adoption or surrogacy options? What have we learned from our parents' mistakes? Who are some role model parents we want to follow? The more you talk about these things, the fewer surprises and disappointments you'll face later on.

The baby will almost take over your entire life. But the best advice I've ever received is that your partner still comes first. So protect your relationship, and talk and talk and talk to make sure you're both on the same page. You are equals, and this will be the most important decision you'll make together.

Favorite go-to snack while pregnant?

As a foodie and a gym rat, my eating during pregnancy is a little funny. I definitely have cravings every so often — like today, when I walked by a jar of pickles in the grocery store and immediately put it in my cart. Or a couple of weeks ago when I really, really wanted cinnamon rolls out of the blue and went out of my way to make them homemade, which takes forever.

But mostly I actually enjoy eating healthy meals during pregnancy. I don't have one go-to snack, it changes every day or week — grapes, strawberries, chopped bell peppers with hummus have been faves lately. I plan mostly nutritious meals to fuel my body and baby. And then I certainly indulge as well. I am literally baking crusty bread and eating a cinnamon roll as I type. Yes, cinnamon rolls again.

What is something motherhood has taught you?

Without a doubt, being a mother has taught me to love. Truly love. I wholeheartedly believe love is a verb, and as a mother I am constantly feeding, bathing, playing, holding, hugging, kissing, praising, following, protecting, clothing, brushing, defending, cooking, nursing — all the verbs. I am learning what love really is.

You have this little human you created and all you want to do is protect and nurture them, even when they bite your shoulder, throw a bowl of oatmeal on the kitchen floor, hit you with a shoe, or run away in a parking lot. You are willing to sacrifice. You are willing to be patient. And that love starts stretching to others, because you understand that everyone is someone else's child. I catch myself wanting to feed guests in our home, lend friends clothes, forgive more frequently — because my heart has learned, and is still learning, to love more deeply.

What are you doing differently the second time around?

With our first child we were still in the thick of poor-college-student life. We had one blanket, a hand-me-down pack-n-play as the bassinet, an affordable stroller. We're so grateful for all the gifts we received and everything we could afford back then, and I ended up loving the simplicity and minimalism of it — I certainly want to carry that over.

But this time I want to pamper myself and the baby a little bit, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Having a new baby is so challenging: the lack of sleep, recovery from delivery, milk coming in, and this time a toddler to also care for. So I'm going to get the cute moses basket that makes my heart happy. I'll get a nice double stroller that lasts. And I'll certainly get more comfortable maternity and postpartum clothes — thanks, EMME.

Do you have a favorite routine with your son?

My two favorite things are cooking and bedtime. I love to bake or cook with the help of my toddler — he even has a tiny chef's hat and apron that makes my heart melt. We especially like to make cinnamon rolls, muffins, and pão de queijo, Brazilian cheese bread.

But my all-time favorite routine is bedtime. He takes a long warm bath every single night. We put on clean pajamas, brush teeth, dim the lights, read as many books as he wants, and snuggle up in his toddler bed. My husband and I sing the same song every night, and our boy Calvin chimes in with the words he knows, with really good pitch actually. The cutest thing ever. We say a family prayer — and then Calvin asks “mais! mais!” (more! more!) and so we pray about five times, with his arms crossed and eyes shut. Then we turn off the lights and say goodnight. He loves to cuddle up with a ball and a ladle as of late. Yes, a ladle.

Moms We Admire is an ongoing EMME series celebrating the mothers in our community.